BEDROOM: Can you see anything wrong with this photo? This viral photo has been taking the internet by storm and the story behind it will send shivers down your spine. Apparently, a loving husband came home after being away for 20 days and took this innocent-looking photo of his wife.
Posted by3 years ago
Archived
My wife [29F] and I [30M] went to a strip club, and things have gone very bad since then
My wife and I have been married for 8 years, and have 2 children. She stays at home with the kids, and I work. We went to Vegas on vacation to get away from the kids. Our agreed agenda was to drink a lot (and we did), hang out at the pool, and generally be irresponsible for the weekend. During our trip, we found ourselves at a strip club. It wasn't totally spur of the moment; she had expressed to friends before we left that she'd like to go to one again (we previously went together before we were married). When asked if she'd get jealous, her answer was something along the lines of 'he knows who he's going home with'. The day before in Vegas, I casually mentioned going to one, and got the response 'that would be hot'. And when I drunkingly proposed it that night, her response was 'ok'. The point is, we talked about it before.
When we got there, I looked for acknowledgement from her before any step was taken. Stripper #1 asked us if we wanted a lap dance, looked over at her and it was a 'yes'. Done. Then she came back and asked if we wanted another, looked at my wife and it was a 'yes'. Back room? Look was 'no'. Then my wife asks me to pick the next one, so I picked one that I knew was my wife's type. We got a lap dance, then got the question if we wanted to go to the back. Stripper #2 was a lot freakier than the last one, I looked at my wife, her face said 'yes yes yes'. I knew it was a ripoff, but why not.
So we get taken to the back, and this is where things escalate. They ask us if we want 15 min or 30 min. I said 15, but my wife looks at me and says 30. 30 min it is; we ended up having 3 sessions with the same 'yes' nod from her. I ask her to dance on my wife and my wife asks her to dance on me. It was back and forth, and the smirk on my wife's face told me she liked it. I asked her 'what's so hot about seeing your spouse with someone else?', her response was 'because it is naughty'. As the night went on, my wife got kindof crazy. They each had their hands down the other girl's panties, rubbing bare breasts together, and my wife bit her nippes. It was stuff that a guy would get kicked out for. I got lap dances, and rubbed my hands on her body. My wife watched with a smirk. Towards the end, the three of us were all talking about threesomes. I told the stripper that it was my wife's fantasy to have sex with other people, my wife whispered something to her and she responded with 'I'm more into two guys'. Then it was over and we went back to the hotel room.
My wife was very drunk, she threw up in the bathroom and passed out. She woke up the next morning, and we made love and spent the day hungover together. She told me that she blacked out at the 3rd session in the back, and asked what happened. I gave her the details, and we went on our way. Later in the day, she expressed guilt for how she acted with the stripper, I tried to reinforce that it was not a problem with me, she said she felt better.
Out of nowhere two days later, she asks me to move out. She said that I forced her to go to the strip club, I told the stripper that I wanted to sleep with her, and all the money we spent was all my fault. I am 100% sure that these things did not happen. I refused to leave and get another place so now I am sleeping nights in my car because she doesn't want me in my guest house. We've had rough patches before, but it has always been grounded in some fact that had an impact on her, therefore I had something to work on. In this case, I completely reject her memory of the facts so I don't have any starting point for a meaningful conversation to reconcile. I am stuck.
The question is, how do I approach repairing things with her? I want to keep this marriage, I just don't know how to have a conversation with her about this when I completely reject the foundation her feelings are built on. She refuses marriage counselling, so bringing a third party in to help is not an option. It's all on me.
TL/DR; wife and I go to a strip club, she did some things she regretted, now it is my fault and she wants to kick me out of our house and keep our 2 kids from me. What do I do next to fix things with her?
UPDATE
Wow, I didn't realize that I'd get this kind of response. Thanks for the perspective everyone. After a week of long silences and arguments, we finally had a discussion today where we sat down to talk about specifics.
The thing that kicked this off was me relaying to her what happened the night before. I told her 'we each told her that we wanted to sleep with other people', she interpreted this as 'I said I wanted to sleep with her'. She remembers the conversation now, this no longer seems to be an issue. Second, she feels like going to a strip club with another couple is very different than going together. She had a feeling of 'I'm not good enough' all along the way, and said 'yes' every time because she thought it was what I wanted. I can understand this.
The biggest issue now is that she thinks I am gaslighting her, and says that this is what her father does to her and she had no problem cutting him out of her life. In her view, the following is gaslighting her and not acknowledging her feelings:
- refusing to leave the house, she says that she needs time to heal
- any time I say I want to have a rational conversation
- any time I propose going to a therapist, she feels like I am saying that she is wrong
She says that the part that hurts the most is that in the last week, I haven't done much to try to repair or provide 'gestures' to show that I want to work things out. She wanted me to suggest a do-over weekend, not cancel plans that we had setup to do an activity together. Personally, I have felt lost the last week and have had no idea how to approach her. Any ideas for ways I can show her that I'm not her dad?
I really don't know what I'm going to do next. I want to repair things with her, and have some great ideas from this comments thread. I'll update you when things settle down.
By the way, I'm back sleeping in the guest house; this was an offer she put forward. Also, she told me that she is not discussing this life altering decision with friends and family, because she doesn't come out looking good in this story.
94% Upvoted
Posted by5 years ago
Archived
Girlfriend was groped by a stranger right in front of me.
My girlfriend and I were walking through the park, and we got to an area where the sidewalk was densely packed with a lot of people, so we were going single file for a bit. I was behind her, and there was someone else between me and her. One guy came pushing through past me saying, 'Move, move!' and grabbed her by her waist to move her out of his way.
Even though I saw it happen, I was zoning out so I didn't immediately process what actually happened - I thought he was just moving her out of the way. She immediately started yelling at him. After a couple seconds, I realized why she was upset: because a stranger unexpectedly grabbed her in a vulnerable area, behind her back, without her permission...essentially copping a feel. I also should add that she has been physically abused by her father, several past boyfriends, and raped by a 'friend'.
He yelled back at her, 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' She got quiet, and even though I was pissed, I didn't say anything because I figured she could handle it without me interfering. About 30 seconds later, we saw him around the corner standing with two kids and presumably their mother. My girlfriend yelled, 'You don't touch other people without their permission!' To which he responded, 'SHUT UP BITCH!'
I started shaking from rage. At this point I was strongly considering getting physical with him, but she stopped me. She REALLY did not want me to do that, and said it would have only upset her more. Also, I wouldn't have felt right fighting this guy in front of his kids. I decided to listen to her.
Did I do the right thing by not interfering or immediately taking a swing at this guy before I realized he was with his kids? I can't help but feel like a piece of shit because I feel like I let this guy get away with disrespecting her right in front of me. I'm convinced that if I wasn't there, he would have done something else to her.
57% Upvoted